I decided not to bind or wear a bra today. At all.

I can breathe more than I have been able to in the past month.

I just don’t ever want to be part of anything like it.

(Source: queersecrets)

My two lovely friends and I talking about the differences in how we are read by people, how we identify, ect.

Good stuff.

My brother just told me that I need to be the bigger person and get over people gender policing me, because it’s my fault that I dress and look the way I do. It’s “dumb” to think that wouldn’t happen, so I need to suck it up.

This being after I stayed up until 4 in the morning with my ex-boyfriend on the phone distracting me from cutting.

And I can’t go into the kitchen to get food because that asshole is cooking.

I need to get back to school; I can’t take living at home anymore.

fyeahprivilegedenyingdude:

Singular They is entirely grammatically correct.

Don’t we know this all too well….

(Source: )

Yeah I do.

(Source: foreversupergay)

With the touchy feely family for turkey.

Eeeeek.

So I am dating a wonderful genderqueer who has shown me a lot about who I am.

Rocko is a more feminine presenting, female-born genderqueer, which has helped me a lot in my journey towards figuring out where I belong on the gender spectrum. I  guess I am just struggling to figure out where I fit between man and woman. 

I don’t want to be feminine some days and masculine others; I am not comfortable in woman’s clothes. Being with a femme genderqueer in public has helped me get some bearing on how I want to shape my masculinity. I know this might sound silly and like it’s enforcing the binary, but it’s true. (I have struggled with saying all this because I feel like admitting to enforcing the binary and trying to be masculine makes me a part of gender policing. )

So let me say that being a man is not my goal. Being a guy might be. Being masculine might be. But I see no use in being a man or a woman. 

Another thing about dating a genderqueer…. we talk about the pros and cons of T, the affects of it, top surgery, and gender dysphoria as part of everyday conversation. It’s nice having a safe place and someone to validate the parts of my gender expression that are so new to me. I love them and am so happy to have a supportive partner.

Anyways. Ramble over. 

I am going out on a limb and saying that I find this offensive. I don’t want to be man. I don’t want to have male body parts because society made me unhappy. I am not in the wrong body. I am not a girl who feels lost in her body.

Since when did society say it was a good idea to be trans/genderqueer? NEVER. So why would that be my fix for being uncomfortable in my body?

I am a genderqueer who is refusing the identity that society has gives me for having a vagina.

There is a difference.

(Source: queersecrets)